Breastfeeding

[joyfullow]

Anyone faced the same problems as me?
I wanted to breastfeed my 2nd child who is suppose to be due in August. But noone is supportive towards this decision that I had made. My mother in law is the one who strongly disagree with me breastfeeding my child. I remember when she found out that I had been breastfeeding my 1st child for 3weeks plus, she scolded me like mad. And instead that I dont't know how to give the best to my daughter and demand me to formula feed my daughter. I thought the oldies should be able to understand the goods and benefits of breastmilk? But I was wrong, she thinks that I'm harming my daughter. And she thinks that breastmilk is not enough and doesn't have nutrients for babies. One day, a auntie happened to ask if I did breastfeed my daughter, I answered : yes, I did. Just then my mother in law overheard our conversation and scolded me in public. I felt humiliated! That auntie then immediately stopped her and explains to her that she's wrong. From that moment, my mother in law picks on me for whatever I do. And even threaten to bring my daughter away from me, and now my 2nd child away if I refuse to listen to her. My husband and I are stressed up, she doesn't listen to us. What should I do?

 

[gumbokins]

Yes I think our mum's generation were made to believe that FM is superior to BM, probably because of the way it was marketed back then. When I had my first child, my mum was quite sure that my supply was not enough (didn't help that the baby cried a lot) so she insisted on feeding formula so I only partial BF-ed. But when my second one came along, I felt more prepared and determined that I could at least fully BF for the first month, and 5 months later, still happily BFing despite my mum making comments and whining/nagging about giving the baby the bottle during the early days. I was living with her when my first child was born but not with #2, so it was also a lot easier to ignore her requests

So, can look on the positive side, your MIL thinks FM is superior to BM so she just wants you to do what's best for the baby. She's just misguided, that's all. Maybe you can tell her that even the Government advice mums to BF for first 6 months (it's printed on all Stage 1 FM tins) or if she follows you to the gynae, tell the doc to advise her on the matter, some of them will only listen to advice from an authority figure.

Ultimately, it's your baby and both you (and your husband, is he supportive?) should send her a clear signal on where you stand on the matter and don't be cowed by her "threats".

 

[momi]

Yes is it possible to bring your MIL along to the paediatrician and let her listen to the doctor's advice to breastfeed?

 

[lsy]

Just like when ppl used to think English is important back then and now seems like chinese language is equally important. I wonder how fm was marketed back then so successful that it has brainwashed women to think cow's milk better than mother's milk.
Even kitten just born will cuddle their mother n suck before they can even open their eyes.

 

[joyfullow]

Yes is it possible to bring your MIL along to the paediatrician and let her listen to the doctor's advice to breastfeed?

She always tell me this that doctor's words can't be listen. She keep telling me, doctors are useless and said that u should listen to her then wasting money and time going to the doctor and clinic to listen to their nonsense. This is the way she speak to me, whatever she say is right, whatever doctor or everyone say is wrong. Sigh. I stopped talking to her eversince all this.

 

[joyfullow]

Yes I think our mum's generation were made to believe that FM is superior to BM, probably because of the way it was marketed back then. When I had my first child, my mum was quite sure that my supply was not enough (didn't help that the baby cried a lot) so she insisted on feeding formula so I only partial BF-ed. But when my second one came along, I felt more prepared and determined that I could at least fully BF for the first month, and 5 months later, still happily BFing despite my mum making comments and whining/nagging about giving the baby the bottle during the early days. I was living with her when my first child was born but not with #2, so it was also a lot easier to ignore her requests

So, can look on the positive side, your MIL thinks FM is superior to BM so she just wants you to do what's best for the baby. She's just misguided, that's all. Maybe you can tell her that even the Government advice mums to BF for first 6 months (it's printed on all Stage 1 FM tins) or if she follows you to the gynae, tell the doc to advise her on the matter, some of them will only listen to advice from an authority figure.

Ultimately, it's your baby and both you (and your husband, is he supportive?) should send her a clear signal on where you stand on the matter and don't be cowed by her "threats".

my mil told me that doc and gynae are useless, can't believe in them. She keep telling me that she understan what's he bestfor babies and mummies. She insisted that bm is useless, and told me not to listen to what gynae, doc and everyone said. Ask me to listen to her only. Sigh. But I'm happy that I'm not staying with her.

 

[gumbokins]

Well since you don't live with her, you don't have to put up with her ramblings. Just turn a deaf ear and do what's right for you and your baby.

Will she be helping you with confinement? How about your elder child?

 

[Carlisle]

Breast feeding offers many benefits to your baby. so why your mother n law can't understand that?

 

[citrella]

OMG... as much as possible, stay away from her in the early months. I think she is those type of in-laws that causes moms to have postnatal depression. I wonder how come she insists that she is right and the whole world is wrong.

I hope your husband supports you on this ground (i'm referring to the breastfeeding). Hugs.

 

[adaddy]

agreed with citrella, better stay away from ur MIL (mother-in-law) at the moment, but how about ur mum? is she agreed?
breast feed is the only best food for the baby...

and if ur MIL said dun listen to doctor and only listen to her... then ask her to help you during the labour

but to handle this matter, at least your husband must stand by your side and make a clear decision about it..
or probably, try to meet up with friends or that giving breast feed and let them talk to your MIL and another way could also
bring the ppl that has the same age as your MIL and very supportive on breast feeding the baby (it could be like confinement lady maybe?)

 

[joyfullow]

Well since you don't live with her, you don't have to put up with her ramblings. Just turn a deaf ear and do what's right for you and your baby.

Will she be helping you with confinement? How about your elder child?

Let me tell you something very ridiculous. My mama volunteer to do my confinement for me as she had been doing it for me for my 1st pregnancy. And my elder child is more comfortable with my mama compare to my mil. My Mil disagrees with my mama coming over to do my confinement. She gives my mama black face and scold my husband say that we didn't respect her. But actually the truth is that I had spoke to my mil regarding about my confinement will be done by my mama as I don't want to tired her out as her 2nd son's wife is giving birth in sept, and she will be confinement for her. So actually I spoke to her before, but from then she starts giving me black face and on my daughter 1st bday, she said very nasty words to my parents and friends and cause my parents and friends to left early. My mil always tell me that I'm married, cannot contact with my relatives and parents. Must be like her, never contact her relatives. What's she thinking btw?

 

[Mandy Wong]

lolol poor u

 

[hpc]

Aiyoyo,is ur MIL going to take care of ur baby?BM is the best for infant for at least 6mths.U are the mummy,so u make the final decision,stay firm.I encourage mummy to breast-feed if she have milk.I'm a full-time bbs ,infant send to me also on EBM.Maybe ur MIL don't want u to be to close to her grandchild,he he just joking...BE happy,keeping on going.Babies on breast-feeding is stronger n less sickness.:wong19::wong19:

 

[yumitan]

my mother in law told me that doc and gynae are useless, can't believe in them. She keep telling me that she understan what's he bestfor babies and mummies. She insisted that breast milk is useless, and told me not to listen to what gynae, doc and everyone said. Ask me to listen to her only. Sigh. But I'm happy that I'm not staying with her.

my in laws also against it in the first place n i'm staying with them .. but i heckcare la.. i poor no money buy formula, they pay? keep quiet liao...