Dealing with In Laws

[autumn82]

later my DH chase me outta the house ah... I very that my tolerance level very high liao ley, from b4 we wed till now have kids, I nv talk back to her or argue with her, whatever she did to me or say me, at most i show no happy face only, still no good? huh, expect me not happy face also cannot show mei, that kind of level i don think i can reached it.

Haha. K la.. Dun say tt, wait ppl say I teach u bad. I also, change face color beri fast de. But one thing, my MIL always use joking manner to say things.. which I beri sianz. Jus ignore. Haha. After that, go home, bitch with DH abt his mum (xiao li chang dao). Guess he also got used to it & sometimes, he even agrees wif me. Haha.

 

[1568mummy]

Hi,

I'm a mum to a 2-week old baby boy, and my mother in law is living with me for the time being. There have been a lot of conflicts in terms of parenting. For example my husband and I don't want the baby to be rocked to sleep (i.e. carrying is okay, but not rocking), and we don't want to give the baby water as he has all the nutrients he needs from breastmilk and formula. Yet MIL still insists on feeding water, and kicks up a big fuss whenever we tell her not to. Any suggestions on how to tactfully "deal" with her?

you know, its a tough, very tough situation especially if your hubby can't take your side....I've even written a loooon blog post about this...and how all of whatever that had happened was so stressful that I got into depression and was FORCED to stay away from my baby - instructed by my MIL...

but the bottomline is, there will NEVER be a compromise, cos' we are from different generation...our belief system is so different, sometime even opposite!

so if you NEED MIL to take care, be grateful that you have her, when its under her care, there is little or NOTHING you can say or do to change her... the only saviour you've got is your HUBBY! MIL only listens to their own kids...

it hard, very hard...you either take care of the baby yourself or you'll have to SHUT BOTH YOUR EYES... *hugs*

 

[January84]

Aiyoh, at least she got cook wat u want.. k la.. give her a little discount.. U having no2. eh? When edd?? Excited ma? Hee.

I just gave birth to DS in July. Was bz like hell with 2 kids by myself.. Luckily as things goes by, it gets better.

hahaha, EDD in Jan 09. . . excited! hahaha, i want to have all in a go, bring up together save effort and engergy and $$$. Cant imagine few years down the kind of inflation.....

yup, things gets better once they are a few months old as more stablise in their routine liao...

 

[January84]

january84 > ur mil really like my friend's mil leh. cooks watever for my friend. n she'll do this also --> she will replied: aiya, u work for full time, where got strenght to carry, u go ad rest la, i carry can liao, if not ask maid to carry, (then she will carry my son and walk away)..

my friend also ren v long alr. my friend's hb even say if 1 day his mom n wife quarrel until v jialat, he'll choose mom, wont hesitate to divorce wife. my friend hear liao so sad.

i also told my friend to give birth to no. 2. then her mil sure cannot handle both. but my friend's mil only like boys. so if no. 2 is gal, jialat.

autumn82 > HAHAHA!!! i think if january84 really says that to her mil, that's it alr ah. sure kena BIG TIME fr mil n hb.

oh, my MIL say hope it is a gal, so have one of a kind... hahah, then she say: siya, now boy or gal also same one la".. but i still feel that she is happy cos at least got a boy... and 1 more gal she say al least not that sian...

anyway, my DH support my decision to be SAHM, after my ML.

initially i wanted to sack my maid then my MIL say I cannot handle without maid one, blah blah, then i told my DH, i will stay at home with maid, and ask his mother go work(since she always say want to work ma)...

At least my DH support my decision.... till then who stay who leave shall decide again ba...

hahahah, if I tok to my MIL like that, later kena humtum by both of them la....

 

[January84]

Haha. K la.. Dun say tt, wait ppl say I teach u bad. I also, change face color beri fast de. But one thing, my MIL always use joking manner to say things.. which I beri sianz. Jus ignore. Haha. After that, go home, bitch with DH abt his mum (xiao li chang dao). Guess he also got used to it & sometimes, he even agrees wif me. Haha.

hahah, sometimes my DH also agree with me that my MIL too @#$ liao.. he also cannot stand her, like even a small small thing, my DH want to eat cold 豆花 then she insist him to eat hot one, then she go buy imme a hot one... buah tahan,,...

indecisive for her own matters but acts fast when its me or DH problem...

 

[January84]

you know, its a tough, very tough situation especially if your hubby can't take your side....I've even written a loooon blog post about this...and how all of whatever that had happened was so stressful that I got into depression and was FORCED to stay away from my baby - instructed by my MIL...

but the bottomline is, there will NEVER be a compromise, cos' we are from different generation...our belief system is so different, sometime even opposite!

so if you NEED MIL to take care, be grateful that you have her, when its under her care, there is little or NOTHING you can say or do to change her... the only saviour you've got is your HUBBY! MIL only listens to their own kids...

it hard, very hard...you either take care of the baby yourself or you'll have to SHUT BOTH YOUR EYES... *hugs*

hhhahaha, ya loh, my MIL always says last time my DH also no BF, fomular also can be so gd.... last time this last time that...

but my MIL too unreasonable one, even my DH say, she also insist her own way.... like the milk increase also... sian...

 

[SH74]

january84 > i think things will get better aft u give birth. hope ur MIL wont insist to stay though u r alr SAHM. have 2 kids, def need maid la. 1 person hard to take care of both. v tiring. esp if 1 of them expects lot of attention. like for me, i take care of my boy alone, alr feel v tired. once hb back, straight away throw to hb. so i can rest, do my own things (e.g. bathe, shit,...) sometimes want cook lunch for myself also diffi.

at least ur hb support ur decision. still side u. but being SAHM n having a maid, will b shiong on ur hb.

 

[January84]

january84 > i think things will get better aft u give birth. hope ur MIL wont insist to stay though u r alr SAHM. have 2 kids, def need maid la. 1 person hard to take care of both. v tiring. esp if 1 of them expects lot of attention. like for me, i take care of my boy alone, alr feel v tired. once hb back, straight away throw to hb. so i can rest, do my own things (e.g. bathe, shit,...) sometimes want cook lunch for myself also diffi.

at least ur hb support ur decision. still side u. but being SAHM n having a maid, will b shiong on ur hb.

ya, and have to continue to support his mum some more.

 

[SH74]

as long as ur mil dun b PR at ur plc, support her still ok lor.

 

[January84]

i don know and don wanna think about it,, so sian,,, stay so near still want to have a room... she now is weekday PR...

i don want her to convert to fully PR ley...

 

[badtzzz]

january84 > ur mil really like my friend's mil leh. cooks watever for my friend. n she'll do this also --> she will replied: aiya, u work for full time, where got strenght to carry, u go ad rest la, i carry can liao, if not ask maid to carry, (then she will carry my son and walk away)..

my friend also ren v long alr. my friend's hb even say if 1 day his mom n wife quarrel until v jialat, he'll choose mom, wont hesitate to divorce wife. my friend hear liao so sad.

i also told my friend to give birth to no. 2. then her mil sure cannot handle both. but my friend's mil only like boys. so if no. 2 is gal, jialat.

autumn82 > HAHAHA!!! i think if january84 really says that to her mil, that's it alr ah. sure kena BIG TIME fr mil n hb.

aiyo..now wat kind of society liao...still wan boi...luckily my family side not so much preference...my hb n myself wat god gave us n we r happy w it...y grumble so much...girl also human lor..then want go for abortion ah...really cant tolerate this kind of old ppl thinking...

 

[WeeFee's_Mummy]

i dont feel the need to explain to her so much, she is the cause of it. If she don want me to move out then she can move home ma. . . she is very unreasonable and persistant one, so no matter what we tell her, she insist her way, like she say 2 times of milk is enuff, my son is 12 months now and only drink 180ml of milk, she say no need to increase, cannot give too much cos he is taking porridge, later his stomach cannot take it, but the thing is milk is very impt for his age now, need to build all nutrients needed for the bone, but she just wont listen. It is very hard for me cos I am working full time so I am not able to say or oversee anything.

she also always ask my maid to carry my son when she bz, instead of passing to me, she always say u hire the maid to do nothing at home for what, she must help to take care of your son ma, etc, and whenever my son cry i want to carry him, she will hold him tight tight and forbid me to carry, she will carry him away loh...

sian...

wah lau! if i were you, i would look @ her straight in the face & say "you the mother or i the mother?"

i salute those of you who "just take it" from your in-laws - u're really patient & your in-laws lucky to have you.. i cannot "just take it" & i will not. never when it comes to my son & time with my son.

but i guess i'm lucky i still have both my parents. but i fight more with my mom than my MIL leh ... how like that? haha!

 

[WeeFee's_Mummy]

my friend also ren v long alr. my friend's hb even say if 1 day his mom n wife quarrel until v jialat, he'll choose mom, wont hesitate to divorce wife. my friend hear liao so sad.

this kind of hb useless. instead of looking @ situation & judging the right from wrong on his own, in the end blood is thicker than water. how come he never tell your fren all this before they got married? at least then she had the option NOT to marry him! he can carry on with his beloved mother!


but it's ok. if they had a child / children & something happened ... he can go on with his mom. i'm sure your fren will be more than happy to have the kids!!

 

[WeeFee's_Mummy]

january84 > ur mil vvv sticky leh. i hv a friend's mil also something like that (alw hog the bb, alw insist using her method to take care of bb). she alw complain to me. until 1 fine day she cannot tahan, she just show black face in front of mil, just insist n carry bb away fr mil. her hb give up. 'cause b4 that she kept complaining to hb. but he diffi position also. so when she black face, he'll tell his mom to let her carry. but sometimes his mom still insist. damn jialat. now her mil still insist but my friend hv the final say. her hb give up alr. hahaha...

hooray for your friend!!! ancing_tongue:

 

[SH74]

this kind of hb useless. instead of looking @ situation & judging the right from wrong on his own, in the end blood is thicker than water. how come he never tell your fren all this before they got married? at least then she had the option NOT to marry him! he can carry on with his beloved mother!

but it's ok. if they had a child / children & something happened ... he can go on with his mom. i'm sure your fren will be more than happy to have the kids!!

'cause nv kena, nv know mah. all the while the guy is nice. my friend also shocked and disappointed.

mother will definitely get the kid meh? if marriage fail only aft kids r older, then she might not get the child alr rite?

anyway, i think her mil knows she's losing her say alr.

 

[WeeFee's_Mummy]

'cause nv kena, nv know mah. all the while the guy is nice. my friend also shocked and disappointed.

mother will definitely get the kid meh? if marriage fail only aft kids r older, then she might not get the child alr rite?

anyway, i think her mil knows she's losing her say alr.

usually the mother auto gets full custody ... unless she is deemed unfit to raise children, or if hb fight until jialat. in the end if hb really fight then usually joint custody

 

[January84]

usually the mother auto gets full custody ... unless she is deemed unfit to raise children, or if hb fight until jialat. in the end if hb really fight then usually joint custody

but financial ley, if for me, i thinki sure lose case one la. .

I got not enuff money and no one to look after my child if I working. My DH work and $ is suffiecient + his mum is so free to look after the children.

so . . . .

Just wondering how long this all will get over. . .

 

[autumn82]

but financial ley, if for me, i thinki sure lose case one la. .

I got not enuff money and no one to look after my child if I working. My DH work and $ is suffiecient + his mum is so free to look after the children.

so . . . .

Just wondering how long this all will get over. . .

Eh? U fighting custody meh?? Tot ur r/s wif DH very good?

 

[January84]

ahaha, no la. I say if i am going thru the case....

and wonderin ghow long this will get over = my MIL and me... hahaha....

 

[autumn82]

ahaha, no la. I say if i am going thru the case....

and wonderin ghow long this will get over = my MIL and me... hahaha....

Ohh...Paiseh..