Marriage Life After BIG Quarrel?

[CanCanMum]

I can understand ur frenz's feeling bcoz i oso went thru' the similar thing as her. My DH would always sms to tis colleague of his (a gal) daily even weekends. Of course, i got jealous n suspect too. But until one day, during my confront to him, he mentioned tat he only wants to confide in sumone. BCoz he was unhappy in his work n he dun wish me to worry so he confide in his colleague. ANd he assured me he had not done anything unfaithful to me. As his wife, i shd trust him if not, how is tis marriage going to work. Maintaining a marriage isn't easy.

so jjmummy.......do u feel hurt when he says tat to u? Means he rather confide in someone else rather den u?

 

[CanCanMum]

Sometimes i also think that i prefer to be alone wif my kids rather to have a husband beside me coz i i dont like to quarrel wif him . When im not happy i will keep quiet even he ask me questions i wont answer him so one day the tone he talk to me as if like going to beat me but he didnt , i dont know y that day i also feel like wanted to beat him too coz i really forgive & forget too many times .

He never really learn , now i live on just for my kids . So what he apologise everytime after quarrel or put all his anger on me ? Y if i slap him & apologise to him , can he accept it ? I dont think he can . My temper is also very bad & stubborn , he should be glad that i can endure & tolerate him . Whenever after quarrel now i wont talk to him at all . I really dont know what to do sometimes , 2nd marriage also so unhappy .

sometimes my husb oso like tat.....repeat and repeat the same mistake.....haiz

 

[Queenbabe]

It is really upset , they r testing our patience n how long that we can tolerate them? Dunno how to learn mean they r 'animals' is it coz they dun understand human language LOL.

JJmummy, i think ur DH shld confide to u instead to other people coz when getting marry that time take vow say 'you fu tong xiang , you nan tong dang' think u know what im talking about? Abit kinda of upset that he rather confide to other not to u. I know u will trust him but somehow ur feelings dun feel good right?

 

[jjmummy]

so jjmummy.......do u feel hurt when he says tat to u? Means he rather confide in someone else rather den u?

of course i do feel hurt when i hear him saying this to me. But then all my frenz said sumtimes DH dun wish to lose pride in front of me and he dun wish me to worry. However after a good talk with him, he has slightlychanged abit . at least he has no longer chatting with tat gal soo often and he will spend sumtime telling me his work bfore he turns in.

 

[jjmummy]

It is really upset , they r testing our patience n how long that we can tolerate them? Dunno how to learn mean they r 'animals' is it coz they dun understand human language LOL.

JJmummy, i think ur DH shld confide to u instead to other people coz when getting marry that time take vow say 'you fu tong xiang , you nan tong dang' think u know what im talking about? Abit kinda of upset that he rather confide to other not to u. I know u will trust him but somehow ur feelings dun feel good right?

Yes i do agree. i dun feel tat good but then me oso sumtimes like tat too. When i 'm upset, i oso confide in my frenz than to him. But i do let him noe i'm unhappy when he rather confide in other gals than to me.

 

[Queenbabe]

Hmm ur fren u confide to is gals right? But if my DH do that i really dun like it , b4 marry that time always got so many kinda of nonsense stuff that i cannot tolerate. Well actually im those 'wild' type ger hehe if my DH challenge me that he go n befriend wif other gals or what, i wont give him face de.

Got one time some website like 'FACEBOOK' got one gal dunno who look so vain talk to him then i really on fire & go n scold that gal. Alot lah friendster also got dunno who this gal anyhow go make fren wif guys message him i also scold her. Somemore she dare to say y i interfere wif my DH making frens , wau lau i give her left & right F**ckup lo. So angry!

I also got alot of guy frens but i never contact them anymore. Coz once i marry i commit into it.

 

[SH74]

sometimes if guys confide in other frens instead of wife, it may b due to wife's tone of voice (e.g. start to nag). that's wat my hb told me la. so i try not to nag when my hb tell me his prob. but sometimes diffi lor. so sometimes he starts to keep quiet, look troubled. hv to alw b observant abt it. then remind myself not to nag.

sometimes guys confide in other frens instead of wife, it may b also 'cause the guy feels that tell wife also no use, 'cause not matured enough to understand or analyse things w him. that's wat some of my guy frens told me. vice versa. 'cause some of us r thinker, some r not.

sometimes i confide in my guy frens than my hb also. partly 'cause i want hear other guys' pt of view. also dun want my hb to worry. sometimes it's 'cause hb is v tired n stressed alr. dun want to add more stress to him.

i still find that it's better to confide in other half than other ppl. that would b the best. but if didnt, sometimes, still ok la. most impt is not to bottle things up. purely confide in other ppl, i still can accept.

 

[CanCanMum]

of course i do feel hurt when i hear him saying this to me. But then all my frenz said sumtimes DH dun wish to lose pride in front of me and he dun wish me to worry. However after a good talk with him, he has slightlychanged abit . at least he has no longer chatting with tat gal soo often and he will spend sumtime telling me his work bfore he turns in.

tats good hor~

at least he dun confide in someone else~

all the best!

 

[CanCanMum]

sometimes if guys confide in other frens instead of wife, it may b due to wife's tone of voice (e.g. start to nag). that's wat my hb told me la. so i try not to nag when my hb tell me his prob. but sometimes diffi lor. so sometimes he starts to keep quiet, look troubled. hv to alw b observant abt it. then remind myself not to nag.

sometimes guys confide in other frens instead of wife, it may b also 'cause the guy feels that tell wife also no use, 'cause not matured enough to understand or analyse things w him. that's wat some of my guy frens told me. vice versa. 'cause some of us r thinker, some r not.

sometimes i confide in my guy frens than my hb also. partly 'cause i want hear other guys' pt of view. also dun want my hb to worry. sometimes it's 'cause hb is v tired n stressed alr. dun want to add more stress to him.

i still find that it's better to confide in other half than other ppl. that would b the best. but if didnt, sometimes, still ok la. most impt is not to bottle things up. purely confide in other ppl, i still can accept.

i never tot of confiding in other guys than my hb....and same for him~ coz we never had other closer relationships with opp sex....

think it depends if u still have friends tat are opp sex who are close to u or not....then the tendency of confiding in them will be higher. Becoz friends listen without judgement~ whereas spouse listen WITH judgement becoz they care for u~

 

[SH74]

ya... frens listen w/o judgement. n they can only share their pt of views for us to analyse. it's up to us whet it's useful or not. but at least there's a listening ear for us to pour out our unhappiness. so sometimes i find that it's good.

 

[jjmummy]

Hmm ur fren u confide to is gals right? But if my DH do that i really dun like it , b4 marry that time always got so many kinda of nonsense stuff that i cannot tolerate. Well actually im those 'wild' type ger hehe if my DH challenge me that he go n befriend wif other gals or what, i wont give him face de.

Got one time some website like 'FACEBOOK' got one gal dunno who look so vain talk to him then i really on fire & go n scold that gal. Alot lah friendster also got dunno who this gal anyhow go make fren wif guys message him i also scold her. Somemore she dare to say y i interfere wif my DH making frens , wau lau i give her left & right F**ckup lo. So angry!

I also got alot of guy frens but i never contact them anymore. Coz once i marry i commit into it.

Ya i confide in gals. I fully understand ur feelings. At tat time, i was oso very "hot" and can't accept the excuses he gave me so i used his hp and sms tat gal to stay away from him as she caused prob between us. And when she still con't, i called her and scold her.

 

[CanCanMum]

Ya i confide in gals. I fully understand ur feelings. At tat time, i was oso very "hot" and can't accept the excuses he gave me so i used his hp and sms tat gal to stay away from him as she caused prob between us. And when she still con't, i called her and scold her.

Can i know does it work? Call her and scold her?

my GF oso said she dare not scold her coz scared the hubby find out den unhappy....so she sort of lower herself to talk nicely to her.

Coz my GF says she did tat once.....den a while it died down, those incoming messages.....den come back againz!

 

[jjmummy]

sometimes if guys confide in other frens instead of wife, it may b due to wife's tone of voice (e.g. start to nag). that's wat my hb told me la. so i try not to nag when my hb tell me his prob. but sometimes diffi lor. so sometimes he starts to keep quiet, look troubled. hv to alw b observant abt it. then remind myself not to nag.

sometimes guys confide in other frens instead of wife, it may b also 'cause the guy feels that tell wife also no use, 'cause not matured enough to understand or analyse things w him. that's wat some of my guy frens told me. vice versa. 'cause some of us r thinker, some r not.

sometimes i confide in my guy frens than my hb also. partly 'cause i want hear other guys' pt of view. also dun want my hb to worry. sometimes it's 'cause hb is v tired n stressed alr. dun want to add more stress to him.

i still find that it's better to confide in other half than other ppl. that would b the best. but if didnt, sometimes, still ok la. most impt is not to bottle things up. purely confide in other ppl, i still can accept.

Yes i noe wat u mean. but wat he wanna is to hear good things while i say frankly when he confide. Being his wife i of course mean good when i comment frankly. Sumtimes i do wonder y married if each others can't confide in each others.

 

[jjmummy]

Can i know does it work? Call her and scold her?

my GF oso said she dare not scold her coz scared the hubby find out den unhappy....so she sort of lower herself to talk nicely to her.

Coz my GF says she did tat once.....den a while it died down, those incoming messages.....den come back againz!

Ya, it doesn't work. Instead she acts like good person, kept saying good thing abt me and told my hb to stay away from her and apologise for causing soo much problems. And then i become the "devil" lor. So gals out there, we must act smart instead of hasty.

Wat men wanna from gals is gentleness, soft-spoken tone like angel.

 

[Queenbabe]

Ask her out n whack her , jus kidding .. Then ask the DH 'automatic' to ask the gal stop all these nonsense . If not sure end up divorce de . U know guys lah very easily itch one lo , somemore so many vain gals out there like to seduce people . U know lastime when i havent marry my DH , he got one fren which i dunno her keep use my DH hp take photo Very Very Vain Type . My DH know i dun like her , got one time becoz of her we quarrel , after that then i decide to leave him . Not long he come to ask me back .

Very sian cannot leave peacefully mah must do so many stunt?
I really hate all these nonsense .

 

[jjmummy]

Ask her out n whack her , jus kidding .. Then ask the DH 'automatic' to ask the gal stop all these nonsense . If not sure end up divorce de . U know guys lah very easily itch one lo , somemore so many vain gals out there like to seduce people . U know lastime when i havent marry my DH , he got one fren which i dunno her keep use my DH hp take photo Very Very Vain Type . My DH know i dun like her , got one time becoz of her we quarrel , after that then i decide to leave him . Not long he come to ask me back .

Very sian cannot leave peacefully mah must do so many stunt?
I really hate all these nonsense .

haiz...no use cos depend on the DH who willingly to stop contacting her or not. My DH 's hp only has other gals' pic but not mine. so sad...

 

[Queenbabe]

I cannot be gentle leh , im who im straight forward de . B4 we marry he know im like that . He also say he dun those gals like to 'sa jiao' type . Chey if one day he dare to do anything betray me . I make sure i cut of his ***** .

 

[Queenbabe]

What! Got other gals pics but not ur pic ? How can like that . U not angry meh ?

 

[SH74]

Yes i noe wat u mean. but wat he wanna is to hear good things while i say frankly when he confide. Being his wife i of course mean good when i comment frankly. Sumtimes i do wonder y married if each others can't confide in each others.

sometimes guys jus want to manja w their wives. want a listening ear. dun want any comments on wat he should do, wat he shouldnt do. yes, we care abt them that's y whenever they come to us w prob, we sure will take it seriously to solve it. but sometimes that's not wat they want. that's wat i learn fr my hb n my other guy frens who complain to me abt their wives.

 

[jjmummy]

What! Got other gals pics but not ur pic ? How can like that . U not angry meh ?

Of course angry but wat to do?? beside tat, i even found out tat gal even open an email acct meant for both of them and the password is baobei. When i log in the mail, there's a pic of both of them which she sent to him.

Tat's when i becm alert and realise sumthing went wrong. Both of them will call or sms daily. And recently i found out the days when he went oversea for work is actually the days he on leave. So shd i believe there's nothing between them but still i close one eye