What can i do?

[ger-mummy]

I have a problem now (should say related to $$$). My DH now is the only person who work & paid all expenses. (My PIL & xiao gu stay with us, PIL's 3 room flat rent out abt $1500 w/o incl. utilities bill) MIL got gastric prob & feel tired easily, unable to work. FIL only think of himself, when they decided to move in stay with us he said will support $500 monthly as part of house's expenses (if my DH din ask, he din give... unautomatic) SIL open her own shop also abit like FIL character, got dip. cert look for job easily dun wan. Her reason of not working coz dun wanna see boss's face & wan earn BIG $$$... I quit my job last yr feb & look after my own small business, wind up in July as the landlord unreasonable increase rental from $2080 to $2580. When looking for job while studying part time, found out that i am preggy.(when go interview, told them i preggy their face "color" immediately change)

When we prepare for our wedding, i only ask my close relatives & friends about 8 tables total. PIL wanna invite whoever they know (my DH is the only son) end up we have 24 tables & overall cost $12000+++. We use all our ang pow received from relatives & friends paid for dinner. FIL said we still have MANY MANY MANY $$$ left so no need to give us the $500 expenses.
So i tell my DH is OK, as long as we save abit spend ONLY on neccessary thing.

Now headache is, FIL spent all my MIL money during DEC 08'-CNY (about $7K) can imagine... (Din give expenses $ to us, only buy daily cooking ingredient sometime eat leftover foods, his own transport, no need to give ang pow... Basically he only buy foods home which he like to eat wan).
We only noe it when DH wanna borrow cash from MIL when i give birth if not enough cash to pay upon discharge.

So now i thinking shall i change to KKH for delivery??? Really haiz... signz

 

[LoVeS]

Most importantly now, do u haf an amount of $$ set aside or u can save up abit of $$ mthly even it is a small amount will do till the day u gif birth so tat u will haf a better idea on how much u can afford on tis birth?

For us, we start to save up abit every mth so tat by the time i am going to gif birth i will haf an amount of $$ so tat i can haf better idea if we can really afford to gif birth at Mt A or nt, coz for us we still haf to hire confinement lady so to us during tat mth alot of CASH will b going out~

So best now is to haf better idea how much u r able to save by the time u gif birth, then plan on the hospital tat u can afford to gif birth n then decide to change KKH or nt~

To b frank KKH although is a govt hospital but as long as u stay B2 n above, u r nt consider as a subsidy patient which u will need to pay full amount frm the bill to u~ Sumore KKH rate is abt the same as East shore or Mt A hospital ~

 

[MsKoh1973]

Btw, how much your husband earning?

My house is a 5 rm flat which bought in 2007, my father, divorced sis with 2 girls (7, 4), xiao gu, my husband and gal and maid, total 9 pp in the house that we r supporting, we also have a car.

Our monthly expenses for the whole house excluding home loan but including my girl ntuc childcare fee is about $2k.

We cook at home everyday, sis give token of $200 every month, xiao gu dun give anything cos my husband say his side family culture cannot collect $ from own family.

Maybe u should list out all your expenese, there may be "loopholes" that you r not aware of, let go of some of the unneccessary things, than maybe your finances will improve.

As for food, don't have to everyday big fish or meat, I am the one who do the cooking for diner (see, still have to rush home to cook after work, si bay cham), I will mix and match the food, occassionally we have prawns, sotong, stingray if the price is cheap, other times, we heat harsh brown, chicken or fish nuggets with cambell soup also quite fun. I always try to keep daily cooking cost below $10 for the family.


**Today is the #49 days that we have lost our beloved unborn son. My dear, always remember, papa n mummy love you**

 

[ger-mummy]

my MIL will cook fish for me... FIL must have meat and he like to cook big portion after that left in the fridge den 4get den got to throw away.. My DH earn about $3k-$4K a month... Monthly expenses incl. his bike instalment & petrol, give MIL allowance, HDB loan, Utilities bill our HP bill... Most expensive is the utilities bill of over $250+++. MIL like to cook now & then.

Actually we have cash in hand, but his friend borrow away & saying will return next month (borrowed on DEC) now we cant contact & unable to find/locate him. SIL also ask him to sponsor help her shop, he also help... My DH is like can help he sure will help but din think of the later part... Dunno good or bad... Lucky we din buy car last yr if not sure jialat ar...

Think will talk to my gynae see if she gt go KKH den decide bah. My DH dun wan me to go KKH coz of all the scaring story he heard from his colleague & friend... But if really come to the worst bo bian lah...

 

[Queenbabe]

KKH is not so scary lah , i give birth at there for my 2 kids . But u mention that ur FIL spent all ur MIL $ then y ur DH still 1 2 borrow $ from ur MIL if not enough cash? SIL got her own shop then ask her move out coz she got $ mah.

 

[ger-mummy]

ya... FIL used up all MIL $$$. we only know it when my DH wanna borrow from her (actually we ask her lah if she can help us when we not enough cash at that moment discharge, den she tell us the whole story lor) so now we are like kena stack... DH's boss always dun pay salary on time recently.. Think we are being follow by bad luck...

SIL she wont move out lah, stay here not need to pay anything only her own expenses... & can invite friend home ask my MIL cook for her friend... haiz... actually hope she can get a bf & marry soon so can move out, den my bb can hv her own room...

 

[Queenbabe]

This kind of 'shit' SIL dunno how to be automatic . Wait for her to get a bf & get marry i think must very long lo .

 

[CanCanMum]

ger-mummy,

just to share my personal experience wif u for planning your finances for preparation for arrival of your baby.

1) $$ involved in delivery is not much, if its natural without epidural and 4-bedded ward u need to pay cash $1000 as deposit, rest all are deducted from medisave. If u opt for subsidised rates (6-bedded and above) u do not need to pay any deposits upon admission. But then it depends on which class yr gynae is. Also staying in KKH does not means cheap as well, if u compare bill to bill all maternity hospitals charges are thereabouts.

2) confinement period u need set aside $2k (at least) for getting someone to do confinement for u. If someone is doing for u, then u need to plan for at least another $1.5k to buy groceries during confinement and baby stuff.

3) childcare costs - this is long term and needs to be thought now as it has long term effect on your financial burdens. More important than any other costs.

FYI, i had a hard time during my confinement back in 2005 and afterwards coz i used up all my savings too...and hubby oso wasnt able to get his salary ontime (like yours). Altho he was earning like 2.8k per month during tat time, whats the point if no money comes in?

i always believed that as long as you stayed close and loving with your hubby, everything can be overcomed.

 

[ger-mummy]

my MIL will do the confinement for me so no need to hire one. bb stuff most of them i got it @ tagore lane 50% discount last month and bb fair. Avent bottles & warmer my buddy bought and treat as my b'day present. bb clothes will get pass down from my cousin. pram got it from hubby frenz. Sling & pump get 2nd hand from mummysg.

ya... is true if she can get bf and marry off (she same age as me only diff by 4 day some more). My dad can support lah, but feel paiseh as he not working as all and i also stop giving him allowance since i din work. My meimei also offer to help but she is the only one support my family and she still wanna save money to further her hair styling course.

Till now, my FIL still ask how much we have coz he dun hv $ to give us.. (He work earn $1500 + $1500 from collection of rental) He din giv my MIL any $$$... DH so piss off with it....

 

[ger-mummy]

I dun blame my DH lah, cause he is likdat since i know him... He also treat me very good.

When i discuss with him shall i change to KKH as subsidise patient, he juz said no need lah ( he scare his baby was not well taken care of & also the nurse will treat me badly) but i dun wan to giv him any burden. He still give me monthly allowance but i spend wisely... save some of it so he no need to worry so much... i hope i can save at least $2K...

 

[MsKoh1973]

Actually you shd learn to "educate" your husband. Like my husband, he is fr Msia, he said Msia culture, shd help one another, so that time, his nephew need to go for operation and needed about RM $100k, his mum called to say he should volunteer to give some money since we earning Sing dollar blar blar blar, so my husband wanted to send SGD$10k (tat time abt X $2.3), lucky I asked him to go sound his other siblings out, in the end, they only give RM $500 - RM $2000, we like idoit.

So we finally give abt RM $6k, all we have in a msia a/c. Tat's not the end of the story.
One yr after the opn, we notice that my SIL change new car, when we went visit them during CNY in 2008, also notice they got lap top, well equiped, and a mountain bike, guess how much the bike cost, SGD$1k+, specially ordered from SG.

I was very angry when I found out all these, my husband said, her sister never asked us to help, is the mother's idea, so its not her sister's fault neither did she deliberately cheat us.

I have total of close to 10 neice and nephew in msia, some may be coming to Sg to study, I have to thinken my skin and hearten my heart, I told my husband, don't care who in the family wants money, ask them come talk to me, told them the money is in my bank a/c, if they dare come, I will reject them. My husband always find it hard to reject his family.

So you should start to educate your husband, dun su ka su ka give money whenever anybody ask. If not, nobody can help.

**Today is the #49 days that we have lost our beloved unborn son. My dear, always remember, papa n mummy love you**

 

[LoVeS]

my MIL will cook fish for me... FIL must have meat and he like to cook big portion after that left in the fridge den 4get den got to throw away.. My DH earn about $3k-$4K a month... Monthly expenses incl. his bike instalment & petrol, give MIL allowance, HDB loan, Utilities bill our HP bill... Most expensive is the utilities bill of over $250+++. MIL like to cook now & then.

Actually we have cash in hand, but his friend borrow away & saying will return next month (borrowed on DEC) now we cant contact & unable to find/locate him. SIL also ask him to sponsor help her shop, he also help... My DH is like can help he sure will help but din think of the later part... Dunno good or bad... Lucky we din buy car last yr if not sure jialat ar...

Think will talk to my gynae see if she gt go KKH den decide bah. My DH dun wan me to go KKH coz of all the scaring story he heard from his colleague & friend... But if really come to the worst bo bian lah...

Seriously ur DH shouldnt lend $$ away when he knw u all r having a bb soon~ Sumtimes it gd to knw wat is within ur own means b4 doing sumthing~ No offences to say tis ~

KKH is nt scary but juz tat the experience n service there i find it really sux alot~

 

[autumn82]

Seriously ur DH should lend $$ away when he knw u all r having a bb soon~ Sumtimes it gd to knw wat is within ur own means b4 doing sumthing~ No offences to say tis ~

KKH is nt scary but juz tat the experience n service there i find it really sux alot~

:err: Shldn't issit? :tlaugh:

 

[LoVeS]

:err: Shldn't issit? :tlaugh:

ya shouldnt ~~ typo :shyxxx:

 

[ger-mummy]

this frenz of his alwayz got borrowed from & return on time but only borrowed a few hundreds. tat y DH tot he always got return so lent him lor but the last time his frenz borrow $3K coz he can only withdraw his fixed a/c at end of Jan 09' as he dun wanna loss the interest earn... who know we call & ask if he can return some, he said ok den disappear change HP no... Move out of his parent hse... Becoz of his frenz, DH & me have "cold war" i ignore him for almost 2week den aiya... wat done alr done... cant help...

 

[Porukadotzu]

i think ur hubby just meant to be good, he trust his fren would return fast... well i say you can continue contact this fren (maybe thru other frends) and ask to return since you need cash for delivery. ya, no choice, what's done is done, now all you can do is try to fix it again. sometime in life ppl got cheated but doesn't mean that we are stupid or too softhearted, but coz your hubby just the type who like to be helpful and just plain nice.

as for the hospital, since all the mummies here say that either kkh or mt.A or east shore isn't too much diff so the choice is yours, i suggest you choose which hospital that you can rest assure everything in good hands.

so i hope you have a smooth and fast delivery!

 

[ger-mummy]

thanks for all mummy for reading my post... Thanks again

Ya... after discussion, we still stick to our initial choice TMC for delivery. Now, i tell my girl that when i ask her to come out she must guai guai come out (natural birth), dun play inside my tummy le.. haha my DH said i siao 13点.

Anyways, today went for 31st week check up bb wt 1420g head turn down le... Think she listen to wat i said haha

 

[EnFlor]

Put your foot down. Control your cashflow. No point in being everyone's 'banker' and at the end of the day you have financial insecurities. There is no need to please everyone even if they are your family members / friends coz they don't give a hoot over what you and hb are facing. So ger, really...y do you bother about their welfare ?

Also what is so scary about KKH ? Have u been there to check the services offered. Just because it is a govt hospital, some pple assume that it is scary and worst still, some even think it is a low class one as they think it caters to pple who have thin pay cheques... seriously i don't understand y the bad stereotyping about KKH. Do u know that if patients at pte hospitals are faced with major complications, usually it is the KKH specialists whom they will seek for further treatment. No offence and i am not offended lah but we have to be open minded on many things in life only then you can weigh the pros and cons.

Ok, have a safe and smooth delivery at TMC, one of the pte hospitals yah!

 

[ger-mummy]

En Flor,

i went to see my cousin-in-law last month when she gave birth, she stayed in C" class. WHen she was feeling unwell, press the help button and the nurse took quite long to attend her. Altot is her 2nd child lah, but mayb encountered different pain after delivered then this senior nurse sort like scold her " scare of pain dun pregnant lah" & before he senior nurse left she remarked "next time earn more then can go private hospital".

1) My cousin-in-law feel the vaginal was painful and wanna ask the nurse wat can be done to reduce the pain as she dun feel pain in her 1st birth?

2)Ask the nurse y so long to come?

I think my DH & me heard of KKH scaring story but none of positive side. Or maybe those who go there whom we know are unlucky

 

[hanipoise]

En Flor,

i went to see my cousin-in-law last month when she gave birth, she stayed in C" class. WHen she was feeling unwell, press the help button and the nurse took quite long to attend her. Altot is her 2nd child lah, but mayb encountered different pain after delivered then this senior nurse sort like scold her " scare of pain dun pregnant lah" & before he senior nurse left she remarked "next time earn more then can go private hospital".

1) My cousin-in-law feel the vaginal was painful and wanna ask the nurse wat can be done to reduce the pain as she dun feel pain in her 1st birth?

2)Ask the nurse y so long to come?

I think my DH & me heard of KKH scaring story but none of positive side. Or maybe those who go there whom we know are unlucky

i delivered both my child in kkh..B1 class 4 beded...1st normal delivery..2nd emergency c section..wat i experience,my gynae(CK KHOO) very good.The nurses at my ward also good..they help me alot wen i m in pain...but mummies,,sometimes we hv to understand,we are not the only patient that they hv to attend..

sometimes we hv to considered,its not an easy job they doin..of course i know we are paying for their services..

but 1 part that i really dun like is.The part they handling the infant..so rough..Lucky this is my last pregnancy..

my fren who delivered in East Shore says their services also terrible..her total bill is 7kplus..she also E C-section.but my bill only 5kplus..eventot there slighly different but also $$ rite..but pte hospital you hv to clear the ounstanding no matter wat rite..but kkh..you can pay instalment if you are really very tight if $$$.