EDD September 2013 Mummies

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shuangyh

New Member
mrsvistamio said:
So pissed until I insomnia :mad:
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dont be angry.. not gd for baby also... for me, staying with in laws is a no no! it will bring alot of conflicts not only btw u and ur husband but also with ur in laws. so i rather not live with them. thankfully, my in laws are in msia.

why dont u ask ur hubby to stay tgt with ur parents? ur mum will definitely take better care of u...
 
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raoow

Member
I agree that it's best not to stay with in laws ESPECIALLY after baby is out. That's the best way to minimize conflicts. However, you shouldn't tell your hubby outright else he will get defensive. Afterall, they are his parents. If your hubby and his parents are open-minded, you can suggest staying at your parents. Or. Stay over his side on weekends.

May I ask, if you don't rent out your HDB and be a SAHM, would finances still be ok? Having your own place is still the best.
 
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shuangyh

New Member
yah, i think best is to have a place of ur own.. maybe u can try and convince ur husband that staying with in laws is not the best solution...
 
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skt

Member
mrsvistamio: to accomodate to both, talk to your husband not to stay with either in-laws place. If money is not a issue, keeping your current house is already a good idea to nurture the child. I mean, less voices in the house, less opinions, less conflicts, less instructions, less confusion to the child.

We all know how it's like to listen to different instructions from more than 2 adults(dad and mum) in the house. And if we are to add in the grandparents, they sure have their own say on the child and yet we can't say anything to go against them just because our style is different from theirs. The the poor child will be like, "mum says cannot do this but granny says can? so I shall ignore mum's words since I have granny as backup".

Got to let husband know, it's not that his parents teaching is wrong, but as parents, you also have your own style. Grandparents may want to see the child very often, so suggest to him since you are not working, you can always bring the child dropyby at in-laws place for a lunch or dinner once every few days instead of staying at their place.

Even if you are to move in and rent out your own place, when the child grows up, won't the in-laws place be crampy, especially the child will want to have a room of his/her own to study?
 
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mrsvistamio

Member
Sigh .. Family problems, I tell my Hb if we were to move in then I will go back to work cos no eye to see how his parent bring up my child . So I let him decide what is best for our child ::D
 
chweewy

chweewy

Member
mrsvistamio, if being a SAHM means staying with ur PIL, then mayb it's better to work, at least u have a say in how you r bringing ur kid up, if u r staying with PIL, ur both eyes must close lor...otherwise, ur hubby is sandwiched in-between also not good..will constantly quarrel....pls dont have post-natal blu...
 
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mrsvistamio

Member
If I m SAHM , I won't stay with in law, I mean if I were to move in to stay with them, I will go back to work n close both eye on child's upbringing
 
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skt

Member
mrsvistamio: well, the in-laws issue happens quite often in most families. So don't feel too bad about yourself ya. But it's good to talk it out before baby comes. And stand firm in your decision if you are really not comfortable staying with in-laws.

I had similar case and when my husband was suggesting to let MIl to stay with us when the new flat comes, I actually teared, emo, didn't sleep well too. My mood was kinda bad, super upset and I didn't want to talk to him, even had the urge to sleep over at my parents' place.

and yes, I am also feeling sleepy now! Still got endure 3 more hours to knock off!
 
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XiangXiangMama

Member
I cared for my first baby myself. When I need help at time, I pass my baby to my sister-in-law for a day or so. If you are not working, you can handle one baby yourself. When you need help, you have your parents to help you. Both of you must come to an agreed term.
 
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mrsvistamio

Member
mummies..did u monitor how much weight u put on weekly ? i didn't check my weight b4 preg..cos that time i had very bad ms..n people keep saying i lost weight. My last weight check was 2 wks ago..today i just check , only gain 1kg in 2wk, am i normal or slow progress ?
 
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mrsvistamio

Member
skt said:
mrsvistamio: well, the in-laws issue happens quite often in most families. So don't feel too bad about yourself ya. But it's good to talk it out before baby comes. And stand firm in your decision if you are really not comfortable staying with in-laws.

I had similar case and when my husband was suggesting to let MIl to stay with us when the new flat comes, I actually teared, emo, didn't sleep well too. My mood was kinda bad, super upset and I didn't want to talk to him, even had the urge to sleep over at my parents' place.

and yes, I am also feeling sleepy now! Still got endure 3 more hours to knock off!
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My problem is now we are already staying w in laws, now our hse is ready, so after bb is born..i wanna move out..but hb suggest the crap idea of staying together n rent out one unit..
 
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raoow

Member
Hmmm.... Could you move to your new place before baby is out? Cos I think it's easier to move while pregnant than when baby is young. By then, the in laws also can use baby as reason to ask your husband to continue staying.

I asked my doctor at my last visit how my weight increase is and as they have records. You can do the same and subsequently, monitor yourself. I think as long as doctor don't say anything, it's fine. Think should look at the overall weight gain to judge instead of the weekly weight gain.
 
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skt

Member
mrsvistamio: It's a pity to rent your new house. I thought married couple would be very excited to stay at their new own place. I will want to at least have the new house to myself before renting out (even if it's just one room). Able to convince your husband it will be squeezy to stay with in-laws as the baby grows up? When baby is still young, in-laws place may able to accomodate all. but what happens few years later, you may want to train the little one to sleep by him/herself in a room.

For me, I will not be able to tolerate moving back to my new house only after it has been rented to outsiders unless the house goes through a thorough renovation. But that means spending another sum of money. So no way I will move to in-laws place, neither will I want to rent out my new house.

If husband really wants to earn some income for the in-laws, the in-laws can rent out their extra room. Wife can compromise by visiting the in-laws often since she is not working.

Does your husband has any specific reason why he insists to move back?

For the weight issue, I agree with raoow. We gota look at the overall weight gain from the first pregnancy day till now. I believe the increment of weight is not constant every week. Till now I have gained about 8-9 Kg. Gynae usually does a recording of my weight and blood pressure during my monthly visits. So far, she told me it's okay. Don't feel too bad on your slow weight increment. I have heard of mummies gaining the most weight towards 3rd trimester while very little weight initially. AS long as the baby's weight is within the acceptable range, you should be fine. Don't force yourself to eat alot just because you want to gain weight fast ya.

From my antenatal class, I learnt that a pregnant mum should gained 10-14 kg throughout the whole pregnancy. And out of this weight, 2 Kg is the waterbag, 500 grams is the placenta, another few hundred grams fall on umbilical cord, and mayb 3-4 Kg on the baby etc... it is good that we don't gain un-necessary weight else wil have a hard time slimming down later on. Also, overweight mum may have the risks of having premature babies.
 
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mrsvistamio

Member
@skt, in law is not in favor of renting out their room , they wants" privacy " . Like i say , they ..too use to retired lifestyle, they always think my hb very free, very capable, so pity my Hb:(
 
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mrsvistamio

Member
btw, my friend only put on 2.5kg, she's now 5mth..is it normal ? she dosent seem bother, she keep asking what is my bb weight/length..my gynae nvr tell me :(
Did your gynae check for bb weight/length on every visit ?
 
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