EDD Sept 2012 mummies!

[felicity]

Ahwang jiayou!! Although u've been feeling lousy, whatever you have done for bb is great!! It's not just other mothers, you've been strong n great too, doing all that you can for the bb!! I used to "dream" about the break during maternity leave too. Now, what break? Motherhood is a 24/7 job, really need to become a mother then understand!! Haha I also dun understand my little girl too... Babies r just so hard to understand right? If only there's a baby language/cry translator app!! XD

I was feeling v down 2 days ago n snapped at my hubby while crying while latching bb. I broke down n erupted, hubby was shocked n asked me why n I just said all he does is play game n nv care abt bb n me. He immediately go off his pc. Then he went to sleep early -_- n at pass midnight after I pumped I wrote a whole chunk of things to his fb messenger... On how I feel so miserable etc, feel like his game etce on higher priority than bb n me, and many more issues. The next day he didn't talk abt it but he did try to be nicer... He still doesn't bathe bb etc but it's ok I won't expect him to turn from a hands-free dad to a hands-on dad overnight. I know some dads just can't handle the bb... But at least when bb cries he will not just continue to play game n let her cry n wait for me to handle.. He'll try to pacify her. As much as I want to be the superwoman mother n wife who can do every single thing without hubby's help, I really appreciate if I can be relieved from my duties even for a while.

Justamom if u hv it at home u try using without insert n see if ur bb is ok? I'm also using without the insert.. I'll still try to hold her neck though not all the time, but so far so good.

 

[meltie]

hey ahwang.. jiayou jiayou.. i feel u too.. sometimes i do really wonder why i get myself into this.. but as always, when i look at this miracle in front of me, with her big innocent eyes and small little grin, i tell myself i can make it through this phase.. its worth it.. it has really been a tough journey for all of us mums so far.. thru conception, gestation, delivery , confinement, taking care bb ourselves and to adjust back to work.. in between still gotta face family, in laws, etc, even strangers..! Hmm i also don't have an easy bb.. u've read my stories.. everyday is a battle.. i'm just so tired at times.. and its ok to complain, its ok to cry , its ok to breakdown in front of hubby.. we're not super humans, but just new mummies.. i feel that as mummies, we have that special strength inside of us , that'll propel us to do watever it takes to take care of our little one n to make him/her happy.. i feel that ur boy is happy that his mum is strong! I feel sometimes its not saying we are weak when we ask for help.. maybe if u can have some support, ask fot it? try out?

hmm i already v thick skinned to ask my mil to help me buy lunch everyday n cook dinner for us to pick up almost every night.. somemore i am on a restricted diet (to reduce colic n gas).. my mil have to go market buy veg, buy lunch, drive to my place , drive home n cook dinner.. sometimes she even sends dinner to us coz we are tired n bz handling bb.. i used to also think i can do it all.. but somethings just gotta ask for help..? Well i'm still doing alot myself.. taking care of bb by muself takes up every min of my day.... (i'm still complaining.. haha) Even now as i am typing with one hand on my iphone, i am using the other hand to rock the bouncer .. bb has been fussing since this morn.. did not sleep after her 7am-9am feed (yes she latched for 2 hrs!), bathed her, she did not slp at all.. den 10.30am she cried for milk, after milk at 11.30am, she pooped n leaked.. cleaned up and put her on bouncer she oso did not slp, keep fussing n talking.. carried n walked ard the hse still doesn't get her drowsy.. den mil came to send lunch and made her alert by playing w her while i gobbled down my lunch.. just as i sipped my water, she cried again for milk.. tried to drag but to no avail, she wailed like crazy.. mil left n i am back to feeding bb again.. she fusses alot at the breast during latching (maybe gas or just fussy), unlatch n pulled my nipple so hard.. actually the base already sore n got bloody lines.. tried to rest one side by doing block feeding.. (pumping oso pain!).. bb fed frm 1.40 to 3pm, pooped n leaked big time! cleaned her back while she was super cranky.. ;( she might have licked up some desitin that got to her hands as she was waving it ard her thighs while i was wearing her diapers for her.. cleaned up n carried her want to put on bouncer.. but she wailed for milk.. attacked my breasts.. so i let her drink till 3.15pm.. she unlatched slpy.. but when i tried to burp her abit, she cranky again.. den walked ard n put her down on bouncer.. her drowsy eyes no more liao.. now she is 'coughing' threatening to cry.. frowning at me while i rocking her... this is my morn n afternn so far... i am super tired.. only slept bare 2 hrs? her 2am feed drove me nuts as she fed till 4.30am don't wanna slp.. Well sorry for hearing me rant! Haha but i just long to see my bb happy can liao.. see her peacefully slping though not for long oso worth it... love her so much.. all the troubles just fade away and i just tell myself tomorrow is gonna be better? it will come.. i trust the advice of those who went before me.. just like during pregnancy, they say shld slp more as bb come out v hard to slp liao.. sure enough.. have not slept more than 4-5 hrs per night (these 4-5 hrs is interuppted n not block kind!)

Hmm ahwang i feel u shld really seek help? out seek an outlet? i feel mummies support grp is so impt! Really wish i can be there for u! Maybe we can have playdates tog w our bbs at our hse.. take turns to take care of bbs tog? Afterall our bbs are all abt the same age.. really hope we can be of help! but if u still feel uncomfortable, its ok.. Do rant here k? You're not alone!

As for carrying bb, i oso scared will spoil bb... my fren who is a behavior therapist says it shld be ok as they will only really condition near 2 yrs old.. well when they learn to walk n run, maybe we'll miss carrying n cuddling them? So i just chreish cuddling and having her snuggling up to me.. but i practice with limitation.. when she not fussing n crying i won't carry.. when she fusses or unhappy, i feel she has no one to turn to, just want some comfort n cannot describe her pain.. maybe got itch on her eczema? maybe cradle cap itch? maybe pee got burning sensation? maybe the gas is really painful? Or her back is numb frm lying down? Poor bubs cannot do but to cry n look for her dearest mummy.. to us, she's one of our many things in life.. but to her, we are her everything n world.. i feel she'll be v desperate n broken if i don't care for her n carry her when she needs me... haha just some thoughts..

oh ya, a word of advice from my mummy frens who have 3-4 kids.. they say we dun need to be so kan chiong to attend to our bubs.. can just go toilet n pee.. let bb call awhile pr cry abit its ok one.. and most imptly, they keep reminding me that bb doesn't always want milk when they cry.. most of the time they fuss n cry coz they wanna slp n its normal.. many kids still cry to slp n wake up that time oso cry.. its ok one.. (oh well except cases like colic..where bb crys for no reason for hrs.. i really 'tolong' my bb.. ) hope this helps!

Hmm any mummies with backache? i think mine gotta do w the epidural n bad posture during breastfeeding.. i feed on the bed, back to the headboard.. but its slanted.. so i feel the ache on my lower back.. jialat.. dunno if it'll be chronic...

Hey Angpq, i am using physiogel intensive care (i think only sold in clinics) its more for my bb's dry ezcema.. its been working v well.. before that i was using johnson baby lotion (pink).. it solved problems of dry hands n feet frm day of discharge frm hosp..

 

[meltie]

oh ya, my bb oso seems to have problem letting out gas at night.. used to give gripe water.. seemed better for afew weeks, but back to the problem again, so i stopled.. ahwang maybe u can try?

sigh as i typed finish my bb who had dozed off awhile just woke up to spit milk again.. running out of burp cloth.. sigh i can't leave her here coz she is cranky when she wakes up., still gotta rock her.. argh got a poopy romper to scrub later...

As for FM, as i am doing exclusive breastfeeding, not givin FM yet, but doc says my bb so sensitive.. skin n stomach.. jialat.. so if i were to give might have some problems with trial n error.. he recommends to find HA (hypoallergenic) formulas like Mamil Gold or Dumex.. Dumex called me n is gonna send me some HA samples in dec.. by the way, any mummies using S26?

Oh ya i bought the gift for gift exchange liao!! Excited! Taka basement got toys fair.. alot of stuff.. maybe u gals can grab some stuff frm there? i went on fri (jialat did not manage to buy anything, when wanna select to pay, bb cry for milk liao) .. so went back yesterday to get.. but not on sale liao.. lol .. wah bringing bb out really not ez man.. still trying to get a hang of it! So far i have nursed in food republic, starbucks, din tai fung, etc.. ppl see me sit there for 1-2 hrs feeding ... now christmas festive season, the orchard tunnels full of ppl n got human jam! sigh met alot of inconsiderate ppl !

 

[Angpq]

Thanks Meltie. My gal is making me worry. not only her dry skin, is her head circumference is growing slow. Only at 10 percentile. The doctor say have to come back when baby reach 6 month to see how is her growing.

 

[meltie]

Btw, anyone got success story to share with regards to overcoming bottlefeeding? I'm still battling to bottlefeed baby, so far i can't be the one feeding, hubby has been fighting w a super cranky n wailing bb.. she just cry like poison n squirms like mad... hope to get some tips..

sigh now hubby end exams but back to work.. harder to intro bottle in the day.. nights are worse than day as bb wants more comfort than milk.. yesterday tried.. n baby wailed for hours!!

 

[Angpq]

Hi Meltie, when I walk or stand for long hours. I will feel backache. It is not easy bring a mother. Need to take care and worry this and that. Quite tiring actually.

 

[reiann]

eeney miney and lingz gave great advice to ahwang.

ahwang: I'm really sorry to hear about your baby and how difficult it is. you're absolutely right, that it is tough, and not at all what i expected. I also thought that childbirth can't be *that* painful but boy, was I humbled!

ok, first. have to keep in mind that all babies are different. there are some that are angels and would do everything by the book, and so easy for the moms to take care. but there are babies that are just more difficult. maybe yours is one of them - probably! just have to accept it. but the light at the end of the tunnel is that: it WILL GET BETTER. your baby will grow. is growing. he will grow and soon all these will be in the past as he WILL sleep better, etc.

as for wind and gas. my baby has that too. she has been consistently sleeipng through night, but she does grunt a lot. so, not much sleep for me too (we're sharing the same room). but, today, she woke crying at 6.20am. very unusual, and hell, I was tired, as I slept late last night (my fault). but just suck it in and do it eh! so, babies can be inconsistent...

and for wind and gas - I think they will just slowly outgrow it. my baby is ebf, but I don't give her any other meds or gripe water etc. she has lots of gas problems. she also had very bad reflux - still does. now she mostly spits up a dribble or two or three after eating, sometimes a few hours after her feed! but if she dribbles/spits out, she doesn't fuss/cry. but it's when she cries for NO REASON, (diapers changed, fed, etc, but still can't find the source of her discomfort) that I know it's due to reflux or gas. just grin and bear it, on my part. I do whatever I can to soothe her and distrct her.

all I know is that it used to be worse. my baby would cry for 1.5 hours (the end of the world crying, a la Charlotte, heh) for NO REASON. that really got me. especially in the beginning. but she doesn't do that naymore.. she does fuss.. sometimes.. but not as long, not as angry.

I too, read up a lot about babies etc... but what was unexpected was the lack of sleep, the SEVERE lack of sleep, over days, weeks.. possibly months, that really got me. but at least it got better for me as my babe is now on a routine, and I do go out a lot in the day. there are still bad days, though...

ahwang, do confide in your husband. at least... let him know how you feel.
as for not getting your in laws, etc, have oyu considered getting a professional nanny to help maybe even ONCE a week? I have a friend, who has a 10 month old. she's a real career woman you know, early 40s. and she really isn't cut out to be a mom. but she has hired help. a full time helper for chores, and a full time nanny. when this nanny has the weekend off, she has a weekend nanny! so she feels more sane. otherwise she can't handle her child. but there's nothing wrong with that.

if not prof nanny, try another infant care for a temporary help? like, half a day? once a week? or more?
much as I don't look forward to going back to work/end of maternity leave, I do look forward to have professional care (infant care_ for my baby while I can be myself again... otherwise, my baby is attached to me 24/7, literally! if I don't carry her in the manduca in the day with me, she is next tome asleep.

just hang in there. if you need somebody to chat with.. just PM me ja.

 

[reiann]

good for you felicity! I'm so glad that your husband at least knows and understands what you're feeling.


all mums: where does your baby sleep at night? in the cot? on a flat mattress? do you lay your baby down flat on its back? do you still swaddle? does your baby have a flat head?

I ask cos my cocoonababy for the baby is great _ she sleeps well in it, BUT she has a flat head to her side! I'm trying to get her to sleep on the left, but she always turns her head to right. damn.

 

[Angpq]

Hi reiann, I let my baby sleep in crudle. This is to prevent her to have flat head. At first my gal was to sleep on the flat mattress but she love to turn her head to her right side. I am worry about her head development so I change it to crudle.

 

[reiann]

ahwang: I also have to frequently remind myself, but perhaps you could keep this in mind too: that, it is the journey that matters, not the destination. so, I know it's tough when you're soooo sleep deprived, frustrated, upset.. when your baby is crying again for the nth time at 3am. but hang in there, and know that this stage WILL pass, and you won't have oyur baby in this size and age anymore. enjoy all the moments that can be enjoyed, even when your baby is crying. I now try to just laugh at my baby when she's crying. not in a mean way, but observe how she scrunches her face up, her lips trembling, or her tongue vibrating when she wails. it's SO damn cute. haha. but yes it isn't that funny when she does it at top of her lungs and for hours.. but I try to see the light side of it too.

take care!

 

[reiann]

Hi reiann, I let my baby sleep in crudle. This is to prevent her to have flat head. At first my gal was to sleep on the flat mattress but she love to turn her head to her right side. I am worry about her head development so I change it to crudle.

thanks! what do you mean a cradle? you mean a yao lan?

 

[Angpq]

Hi Meltie, my gal is using physiogel cream not intensive care. Both of these any different? Cos I found out that physiogel cream not effect on my gal's skin.

 

[Angpq]

thanks! what do you mean a cradle? you mean a yao lan?

Yes my dear. Sleep in Yao lan can sleep quite long hours. Now my gal prefer to sleep Yao lan than mattress.

 

[eeneyminey]

Btw, anyone got success story to share with regards to overcoming bottlefeeding? I'm still battling to bottlefeed baby, so far i can't be the one feeding, hubby has been fighting w a super cranky n wailing bb.. she just cry like poison n squirms like mad... hope to get some tips..

sigh now hubby end exams but back to work.. harder to intro bottle in the day.. nights are worse than day as bb wants more comfort than milk.. yesterday tried.. n baby wailed for hours!!

u may wanna try nuk teats? try the latex one.. it's super soft and it seems like my gal like it..

 

[Lingz12]

Reiann, my girl sleeps in her cot at night and cot/bouncer/sofa during the day.. And YES! She prefers to sleep with her head turned to her right so her head's rather flat on the right.. PD says keep turning her head to the left, let her sleep on her tummy etc.. Doesn't work.. Everytime I turn her head to the left, she turned back 2 sec later.. If I hold her head and not let her turn, she screams bloody murder.. Dunno wat to do.. Sighz..

Will be putting her at bb sitter house starting Jan.. Bb sitter will b letting her sleep in Yao lan.. Hopefully not too late to "improve" the shape of her head.. If all else fails I will just let her grow her hair long! Can't see the flat head beneath those locks then! Haha..

 

[meltie]

ahwang: I also have to frequently remind myself, but perhaps you could keep this in mind too: that, it is the journey that matters, not the destination. so, I know it's tough when you're soooo sleep deprived, frustrated, upset.. when your baby is crying again for the nth time at 3am. but hang in there, and know that this stage WILL pass, and you won't have oyur baby in this size and age anymore. enjoy all the moments that can be enjoyed, even when your baby is crying. I now try to just laugh at my baby when she's crying. not in a mean way, but observe how she scrunches her face up, her lips trembling, or her tongue vibrating when she wails. it's SO damn cute. haha. but yes it isn't that funny when she does it at top of her lungs and for hours.. but I try to see the light side of it too.

take care!

Yup this stage will pass! I seek to cherish my little bb in my arms.. the way she suckles and holds my breast w her tiny hands.. seeing her chubby face grown just purely on breastmilk.. Its tough but lets enjoy the process.. we learn alot through this! Oh ya i do laugh or even video my bb when she cries, co nowadays her cry is like talking n complaining one.. 'ahh.. ahh.. mum mum, ah ma ma' like abu neh neh lol... but it was takes a turn when she starts her colic cry.. sheesh.. i dunno how my hubby n i make it thru the night.... but if i dun comfort her, no one else can comfort her liao.. my hubby carry she oso cry.. i carry she calms down abit but when i dun offer the breast, she continues wailing... i tahan not to latch her coz she already puking like mad! Haha seems like i have a bad day everyday hor? recently i feel maybe going out if good.. time passes faster than being cooped up at home.. with bb latching for long hrs.. i always tempted to just end breastfeeding n start FM.. but i know i will nv be able to buy back the bonding time with my bb...

My bb slps in bouncer in the day and cot at night.. i think she knows the difference? I will swaddle her after her last feed before i go to bed, put her in cot.. hmm recently its harder to get her to slp though.. even in the 4-5am feeds, after feeding she is wide awake.. i carry n rock till i fully awake den she slp.. leaving mummy unable to slp... ya i do feel the bouncer makes my bb's back head abit flat.. even i put her on side in cot, she still turns to face up.. hmm i dunno how to make her head round... ppl say just keep rubbing her head? haha..

Hey Angpq, i think there's different types of physiogel.. there's normal, AI (anti inflammatory) and intensive care.. my doc ask me to use intensive care... its slightly oily and will lock in the moisture..

thanks eeney, hmm i think my bb is just plain fussy haha she still eventually drinks when my hubby coax her n drink all over the living rm.. she is using avent 2 hole teat.. if she reject that, and dun even suck, i'll try other teats.. so far i use nuk pacifier.. rejected big time.. just gotta tahan her wailing... for hours.. zzzz maybe i shld get headphones instead lol

 

[yuen6]

Ahwang, hang in there! Like what the other mummies said, this will pass and before you know it, this will all be behind you (you may even reminisce about it!). I had a tough time with my older son 3 years ago too. He was an extremely fussy baby, slept really little. There was once he didn't sleep for 24 hours! I was so desperate that I went to buy something like a yaolan. He slept better in it but I had to keep rocking him nonstop or he would wake up and cry. And even when I played with him he got bored after a few minutes and would cry again. Basically a very fussy baby and a cry baby. That time I tried very hard to get him on a routine as well but it just wouldn't happen as he only slept in chunks of 45 mins and he didn't breastfeed well and I would be awake for up to 2 hours each time he woke me in the middle of the night. But he finally slept through the night at 5 months! It was tough but that is all history and I really do reminisce about it from time to time. So keep your chin up!

I know it is quite zeh ah.. But sometimes during those nights when my girl wakes me up now, I would be feeding her while using my iPad. And when I see mummies posting entries on this thread at those crazy hours, I feel happy that I have company! So you are not alone and we are all going through this rough period together.

 

[yuen6]

I tried the pacifier again on my girl today and yay it worked like a charm! I don't have to carry and pat her while walking up and down the house anymore. And when she woke after half hour, I just popped the pacifier back in and she could sleep another hour! Thanks to some mummies (I think it was reiann and ahwang?) for mentioning their experience with the pacifier. I'm glad I tried it.

 

[yuen6]

Reiann my baby sleeps in a cot on a flat matteress. I don't swaddle her. I feel that the right side of her head is getting a little flatter as she likes to turn to the right. But bo pian leh.

 

[Rodorsany]

This is hw i let my girl sleep... Will alt sides